Who Are We, Really?

As we start peeking out of these turtle shells we call our homes while getting vaccinated, we should be seeing the world through new eyes. Refreshed emotions of who we are and how we feel about our community. Were our neighbors good to us throughout the past year or did they keep their distance? Did they wear masks or did they act like there was no pandemic happening? It's okay, I don't really care. As long as they are not playing hopscotch on my driveway. It is hard enough to back out of the garage without hitting any parked cars. There had better not be any unauthorized kids on my property!

The point of this post is not to talk about kids running around in my neighborhood. In writing the first paragraph, I think I just learned something new about me. There might be some harbored resentment towards the neighborhood kids...

Right. Now, to the point. Should I put segways on my "something to work on" list? I have always wondered how many different personality types exist in this world. In my limited research, I have concluded that there is no actual number. Darn it! My engineering mind needs quantitative facts.

So, the Myers Briggs personality test shows 16 different personality types, based on 4 very touchy-feely categories to decide your persuasion towards feelings, sensing, intuition, thinking, perception, and introvertedness. Each category has 2 options and if you are so lucky to take the Myers Briggs test, you can find oodles of information about yourself. I took mine while at university and the book apparently states that your personality type is set in stone. I will always make decisions based on emotion and not facts. My judgement tends to be impaired by my emotional state and I am oversensitive to criticism. The book also indicates what personality type would be a good match for you.

Let's talk about that for a minute. I have been dabbling a bit into personality types that are compatible and not compatible. While it is true that opposites do attract, don't you find that your best friends would make the best life partners? Sure, they might not be the correct gender for you, but don't we often feel annoyed by a spouse who gets under our skin or constantly on our nerves? (Please refer to my post on Idioms) Based on my Myers Briggs personality, I am inclined to make poor decisons. Did I marry the guy who holds the elevator open for everyone, quickly hits the door close button, without consideration, or the guy who talks to everyone in the elevator and even gets off on their floor just to continue the conversation? The enlightened classmate who had lent me this book with the famous personality test, told me, with confidence, that personality cannot be modified, I was nearly brought to tears at the thought that I might be unlucky in love if I don't choose a mate with the matching personality type! I wanted so desperately to believe that I could change - I could be more extraverted, less sensitive, and smarter about my decision making. Needless to say, my spirit was crushed by his words. Nonetheless, as my dad said in his wedding speech to me, I don't listen to anyone!

Twenty-odd years later, I still find myself looking at my Myers Briggs personality type, wondering if my personality has changed, contrary to what my classmate had told me. I had my test results written down for years and now that I am interested in personalities again, I have forgotten the 4-letter acronym that tells me my flaws. If memory serves, I was an ESFJ. That stands for extravert, senser, feeler, and a judger. Of course, I could have also been an INFP - an introverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiver. Just last week, I learned that the super rare personality is INFJ. It got me thinking (after they described how great this personality type is) that perhaps I could be one? Or, my husband could. The video said that while they are super sensitive to other people's feelings and very empathetic, they tend to feel like outsiders and don't have a lot in common with most people. They do go on to become very successful people because they are perfectionists ;)

Anyway, I could go on and on about Myers Briggs but that is not really where I wanted to go with this story. I believe that maybe the world is made up of 2 or 3 personality types; maximum 5...because we have all seen the t-shirts that say "Mean people suck". While we are at it, why don't we include, "I'm with stupid" (and an arrow pointing to the person standing next to you). So, that gives me 3 types of people right there...let's not forget about stupid, standing right there! But, where do the nice people fit in? Can we just call them Type #4?

So, we've got mean, rude, innocent, and nice. In my upbringing, all 4 of these could be combined into 1 person OR, you could take on, at least, 2 out of 4 of these personality types. Where does that leave us? Are all nice people never rude? Are all rude people never nice? If you ask my son, I can be mean. I think I am nice. Most of my friends think that I am generally friendly. My brother thinks that I am gullible. I believe that makes me the person standing next to the "I'm with stupid" guy!

Well, as with most of my posts, there really is no conclusion. Hopefully, after reading this, you take a moment to reflect on who you are and who you want to be when we come out of this pandemic. You can continue to be personality type #1, 2, 3, or 4, or a combination of any of them. Maybe this is how Myers Briggs got their start. Am I just reinventing the wheel? At the end of the day, do you want to be remembered for being rude, plain old mean, an imbecile, or nice? Do whatever your heart tells you is right. Do you want to be happy or sad? If you are nice, then sing it out to the birds, the trees, and the lakes! Once you know it, it should help you to move forward with embracing the person that you are. If it doesn't, then change it. Don't ever forget who you are and how you project yourself. Be the you that you want to be!