The Best Things in Life Really Are Free!

Ok, so this post will sound a bit different than my regular style of writing. This one is for the prize! I felt that writing about mandatory pricing for product that is sometimes on promotion to be sold for free is kinda contradictory, especially if submitting it to the company that sells these products. So, here goes for attempt #2 to be in it to win it!

One of life's greatest gifts is being able to recognize that not everything is a race to win. Ironic, huh? No really...look around you. As we finally steer out of the winter blues and see that spring has well sprung, we can recognize all the signs that symbolize that summer is just around the corner. Trees are full of leaves. Birds are flying in every direction. Lakes are looking clear blue. The biggest sign that summer is coming, for me, is that the beach is packed!!

When we think about the things in life that really matter to us, we can probably count on one hand: our family, our home, a steady income, and our health. If only one of those four things are about money, then why is money always on our mind? If you take a moment to look around, you will see that the things that are most dear to us - the things that are irreplaceable, precious and fundamental to human life don't actually cost a thing. There are some who would argue with this statement. What about cars? What about electronics? What about vacations? Ok, good point. However, when you sit in said car or watch said electronics, how does it make you feel? What are your best moments with this material thing? It is not when you hand over your credit card to pay. That much, I know. Consider the most precious memories you have of your life. Does it include spending time with family? Perhaps, watching a great movie on that 4k TV you invested in? How about driving in your car? Was the best moment when someone honked as they passed you by because your style is so awesome? Were you alone? Or, do you recall a time when you had friends or family in the car with you? Were you helping someone and offering your car to someone in need? If that is true, then I am sure the person was just happy to have a safe car to borrow. Sure, a superior sound system and sunroof package doesn't hurt...

So often, we are chasing after that dream to give us a feeling of satisfaction and acceptance. What we don't realize is that life is not about finishing that sentence, "If I just get enough money to..." Perhaps there is a loophole to get to that dream without the money. If a shortcut existed, would you take it? In the end, we just want to be loved by our family and feel successful in our lives because no one ever tells us when we have arrived there. We assume that, once we have achieved success, we will feel different, confident, complete. It is simply not true. There is always another rainbow to chase. But what about the rainbows that have already passed us by? Did we forget to look up and recognize them? Life starts to make more sense when we appreciate the things around us that were created for our enjoyment. It is only when we begin to appreciate the love, support and encouragment of those around us, that we can start to see how the greatest things in life really are free.

Have You Suffered From Harassment?

If COVID has taught us anything besides how to wear a mask to save your life, it is who your real friends are. When you are stuck in self-isolation, who is going to come over to your address and do a lawn dance to cheer you up? It isn't me!! I was following all the government rules, trying to stay away from grocery stores, ignoring my neighbors (see previous post about neighborhood kids), and barely visited any family...unless absolutely necessary! No birthday parties, no playdates, and no therapy shopping. I gave it all up for the health of my family...mostly.

Or, did my dream of making people people just magically go away become a reality overnight? When the pandemic hit, I was working for Canada Post. I was surrounded by classmates in training, while listening to the radio twice a day about how this thing was hitting North America. Then, I started the job - no masks had been issued and no hand sanitizer was provided. As far as we knew, it wasn't in Canada yet. When Trudeau started appearing on the news in a mask, our world stopped. My husband's birthday landed on the first day of lockdown. Restaurants were closed, schools were on break, and most business went to curbside pickup only. A few days later, I was told not to come into work. We were all to stay home and limit our outings to essential trips only. Delivering mail seemed essential, but I was glad for the break. The job wasn't the walk in the park that I had hoped it would be.

When I was called back to work...after lockdown was finally lifted, it was a strange feeling to come back to an office environment where any one of my coworkers could have COVID. I was the only one enforcing the mandatory mask rule. Remember, Doug Ford did not make masks mandatory indoors until later that year. I could do the research on when masks indoors was a legal requirement, but why bother. We now know what we know. We knew less 6 months ago and we will know more 6 months from now.

I was basically ostricized for keeping my mask on. I wore gloves while delivering the mail (during the hottest months of the year, no less!) and tried my best to santize every time I had to take the gloves off. For example, when I would actually take the time to eat lunch, in the mail van. I was new and I was slow. My supervisor came to me one morning, while I was sorting my mail for the day. He just casually mentioned that while there is a pandemic going on, we are pretty safe in St. Thomas - from getting COVID. I think that was his subtle way to telling me that my PPE is slowing me down. Plus, no one could really understand me in my mask. It severely reduced my ability to communicate in the workplace. I'll just scratch off verbal communication skills from my resume now...

Anyway, needless to say, I am trying to get back to the point of this post. What is harassment anyway? Is it feeling unwelcome? Unwanted? Uncomfortable? Or just as if your rights have been violated? As an employee, COVID or no COVID, I have a right to cover my face at work. Whether the company appreciates that I am actually protecting THEIR employees by doing this, is still unclear. I think that this particular company would have appreciated if I followed the norms of their little society in the dusty old depot that has existed since the last pandemic, I am sure!

What about harassment at home? Do we feel uncomfortable after an argument, knowing that there is nowhere to go after certain words have been said? I have had had customers tell me that this pandemic year has been very hard for them - joblessness, lack of income, fixed incomes on CERB, and even marital abuse. It is scary to imagine that someone is forced to stay at home with their violent husband just because the government has forced them to do so. Were hotels open during lockdown? I don't even know. But, is it worth the risk of getting COVID from a hotel? Is it safer for you to leave home in a pandemic than to stay home and get beat? What about women's shelters? Were they letting new people in their facilites while nursing homes were rampant with outbreaks? Probably not.

Well, I don't really have an answer here. Just an awareness of what people have gone through during this pandemic. I had the 6th sense enough to know that a lockdown would not suit many of our predivorce family lifestyles. I knew enough to know that when people don't get to the gym to exercise or leave the house every day for some purpose or another, they can go a little batty. So, once the government put us into the first lockdown, I was just waiting for the riots to start. We have now survived our 3rd lockdown (in the home stretch!) and, if we can get through this, then I really do feel like we can get through anything.

After all this is over, do you know who you can rely on? Who will take care of you during a pandemic? Will your employer support you if you need 2 weeks off to self-isolate? Will a family member slip toast under the door to protect the rest of your family while still tending to you? Who's bedside would you go to, if the hospital had allowed you to be with a loved one suffering from COVID? Would you risk bringing COVID home to your immediate family, just so that you could have closure on a family member who was unlucky enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time? It could have been something as simple as going to the north-end London Walmart or as extravagant as an 80th birthday party for grandpa. They seemed like equally important reasons to gather, but what at what risk? Knowing all that we have been though in the past 14 months, I hope you have gained more insight about the decisions we can make to keep us safe in times like these.

Poetry Contest 500 Words

So, there is a contest that I am entering. The requirement is 500 words of writing or poetry. About any topic, I assume. How long is 500 words anyway? My original thought was to submit my theory on personalities. I think that post is way too long. Plus, I gotta say: that is still a work in progress. My next idea was to talk about cell phone plans. But, that is kinda boring. So, I have decided to talk about harassment and bullying. I haven't refined the synopsis of that topic yet. How would you drill down to the main points in just 500 words? I could talk about bullying for hours! I will work on it and get back to you. For now, here are some thoughts on cell phones...

Many people seem to be of the opinion that these devices that we wake up to every morning and say goodnight to every night should be free. The device that we text, email, stream, and call on should be free. The device that sometimes feels like our lifeline, our contact with the outside world, our way to reach friends and family, and a way to keep in touch with loved ones across the world. All free?

Well, perhaps a new view is needed of these essential services. Of course, we use these devices for fun things too. Playing games, watching videos, even taking pictures of ourselves. That does not make it any less essential for the things we should be using our phones for: to call our moms! If we imagine that when we move to a new house, we would have to set up a mortgage, property tax, hydro, and gas accounts. We probably have no problem paying for internet, maybe even a home phone line and security system. So, if we take those all as necessities for living, why wouldn't we lump our cell phones into that category? Sure, there might have been a time when our Motorola flip phones were being given away like candy! However, we know we are not living the good 'ol days anymore when people walk into a electronics store and buy an iPhone 12 Pro Max at full sticker price without a second thought.

Perhaps, sticker price is the key here. The thought just crossed my mind that perhaps people think of buying cell phones like they do cars. We know that cars are expensive, but no one pays the full retail value!! Do they...? The question I sometimes get asked is, "You can get me the iPhone 12 Pro Max for free, right?" Uhm, it's the same price that everyone else pays, my friend!

We should also note that when paying for essential services we do not question the installation fee. When we install our internet, when the gas company comes to flick on the switch to heat our home, when the home security guy shows up to make us feel safer on those nights where the wind is howling and there are knocks on the side of the house, do we question the service fee? Then, why do we complain when it costs money to have someone find the right phone, based on our needs, likes, and past devices? Perhaps a whole revamp of the definition of essential services is needed so that we can realize that a cell phone is not something that can just be discounted because we put on a smile today. Our utilities provider wouldn't care, so why would our phone provider?

Who Are We, Really?

As we start peeking out of these turtle shells we call our homes while getting vaccinated, we should be seeing the world through new eyes. Refreshed emotions of who we are and how we feel about our community. Were our neighbors good to us throughout the past year or did they keep their distance? Did they wear masks or did they act like there was no pandemic happening? It's okay, I don't really care. As long as they are not playing hopscotch on my driveway. It is hard enough to back out of the garage without hitting any parked cars. There had better not be any unauthorized kids on my property!

The point of this post is not to talk about kids running around in my neighborhood. In writing the first paragraph, I think I just learned something new about me. There might be some harbored resentment towards the neighborhood kids...

Right. Now, to the point. Should I put segways on my "something to work on" list? I have always wondered how many different personality types exist in this world. In my limited research, I have concluded that there is no actual number. Darn it! My engineering mind needs quantitative facts.

So, the Myers Briggs personality test shows 16 different personality types, based on 4 very touchy-feely categories to decide your persuasion towards feelings, sensing, intuition, thinking, perception, and introvertedness. Each category has 2 options and if you are so lucky to take the Myers Briggs test, you can find oodles of information about yourself. I took mine while at university and the book apparently states that your personality type is set in stone. I will always make decisions based on emotion and not facts. My judgement tends to be impaired by my emotional state and I am oversensitive to criticism. The book also indicates what personality type would be a good match for you.

Let's talk about that for a minute. I have been dabbling a bit into personality types that are compatible and not compatible. While it is true that opposites do attract, don't you find that your best friends would make the best life partners? Sure, they might not be the correct gender for you, but don't we often feel annoyed by a spouse who gets under our skin or constantly on our nerves? (Please refer to my post on Idioms) Based on my Myers Briggs personality, I am inclined to make poor decisons. Did I marry the guy who holds the elevator open for everyone, quickly hits the door close button, without consideration, or the guy who talks to everyone in the elevator and even gets off on their floor just to continue the conversation? The enlightened classmate who had lent me this book with the famous personality test, told me, with confidence, that personality cannot be modified, I was nearly brought to tears at the thought that I might be unlucky in love if I don't choose a mate with the matching personality type! I wanted so desperately to believe that I could change - I could be more extraverted, less sensitive, and smarter about my decision making. Needless to say, my spirit was crushed by his words. Nonetheless, as my dad said in his wedding speech to me, I don't listen to anyone!

Twenty-odd years later, I still find myself looking at my Myers Briggs personality type, wondering if my personality has changed, contrary to what my classmate had told me. I had my test results written down for years and now that I am interested in personalities again, I have forgotten the 4-letter acronym that tells me my flaws. If memory serves, I was an ESFJ. That stands for extravert, senser, feeler, and a judger. Of course, I could have also been an INFP - an introverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiver. Just last week, I learned that the super rare personality is INFJ. It got me thinking (after they described how great this personality type is) that perhaps I could be one? Or, my husband could. The video said that while they are super sensitive to other people's feelings and very empathetic, they tend to feel like outsiders and don't have a lot in common with most people. They do go on to become very successful people because they are perfectionists ;)

Anyway, I could go on and on about Myers Briggs but that is not really where I wanted to go with this story. I believe that maybe the world is made up of 2 or 3 personality types; maximum 5...because we have all seen the t-shirts that say "Mean people suck". While we are at it, why don't we include, "I'm with stupid" (and an arrow pointing to the person standing next to you). So, that gives me 3 types of people right there...let's not forget about stupid, standing right there! But, where do the nice people fit in? Can we just call them Type #4?

So, we've got mean, rude, innocent, and nice. In my upbringing, all 4 of these could be combined into 1 person OR, you could take on, at least, 2 out of 4 of these personality types. Where does that leave us? Are all nice people never rude? Are all rude people never nice? If you ask my son, I can be mean. I think I am nice. Most of my friends think that I am generally friendly. My brother thinks that I am gullible. I believe that makes me the person standing next to the "I'm with stupid" guy!

Well, as with most of my posts, there really is no conclusion. Hopefully, after reading this, you take a moment to reflect on who you are and who you want to be when we come out of this pandemic. You can continue to be personality type #1, 2, 3, or 4, or a combination of any of them. Maybe this is how Myers Briggs got their start. Am I just reinventing the wheel? At the end of the day, do you want to be remembered for being rude, plain old mean, an imbecile, or nice? Do whatever your heart tells you is right. Do you want to be happy or sad? If you are nice, then sing it out to the birds, the trees, and the lakes! Once you know it, it should help you to move forward with embracing the person that you are. If it doesn't, then change it. Don't ever forget who you are and how you project yourself. Be the you that you want to be!

Where Do We Go From Here?

Have you ever wondered where dust comes from? I have recently considered the possibility of moving to a foreign country where housekeepers are cheap and a clean home is not a priority to anyone. Windows remain open and there is a permanent layer of dust/dirt/sand on the floor of these citizen's homes. This is considered normal. We like to keep things organized in our home. For the most part, there is a place for everything and everyone in my family knows to put things in their rightful place. But, what about getting those cookie crumbs, whenever you decide to live a little, and allow your kid to walk around with food in his hand? What about the cobwebs in the corners and dirt from muddy shoes? Don't even get me started on the hair in the bathroom that gets tracked on socks and spread all over the carpeted areas of the house!

If only there was a device designed to suck up dirt while it self-propels around your house automatically :p Anyway, if it does exist, it is not within MY budget. So, I am stuck scheduling a weekend where I set aside endless hours to vacuum, dust, clean floors, and (if I am lucky) clean the mirrors. This can be quite the chore when there is a mirror in every room of the house! At what point would my son be old enough to clean mirrors effectively but not too young that some might call it child labour?

Alright, enough about that depressing topic. The other thing I wanted to mention, besides the countless hours we spend on housekeeping, is the amount of energy it takes! I swear, on the coldest winter day, I can break into a head-to-toe sweat because the vacuum is so darn heavy. Then, there is the back and forth repetiveness of the motions of housework. I am surprised more domestic engineers don't end up on disability or at the physiotherapist's clinic. Actually, if memory serves, I think I did have an aunt who had complained about shoulder pain or tennis elbow from house cleaning...so, it does happen! I had another aunt tell me that she read housework is not considered exercise. You tell me another activity that increases your heartrate, keeps you moving for hours, works every muscle in your body, and has you sweating within minutes!

She called BS on that, and, as an adult, I do too. It makes me wonder if the people who made this claim were stuffy office-type bread winners who had never done a day of housework in their life. Did they visualize a French maid walking around with a feather duster and automatically deem that housework is not considered exercise? Or did they actually witness someone cleaning their house to perfection and then deem it to be not valid? Here is the latest Google result from 2015:

"While housework may get our heart rates up, questions about the type of work and intensity level can be raised. A study conducted at the University of Ulster analyzed 4,600 adults and found that of the 43% who stated they met recommended activity levels, 36% of them counted housework as their exercise."

Wow. Far be it from me to question the study conducted by the University of Ulster! Where?I just have no comment about that. Enough said. Clean your house. Keep your windows shut. No, the wind will not blow the dust off of your shelves. In fact, it will do the opposite. Check your bed for mites and keep on keeping on. Don't forget to work in your regular exercise routine too, cuz, you know, housework is not considered exercise. I can't believe that it is viewed the same way it was 30 years ago. Nothing has changed. Homemakers, housewifes, domestic engineers, whatever you want to call the people who do the house maintenance (I am going to go out on a limb and claim that it is mostly women), we will never be appreciated for the work we do. But, let's hope that all this effort will give us the beach bodies we are dreaming of!

I'll leave you with my parting tip for vacuuming rugs in your house. When are done steping on the rug and performing your most awkward Ice Capades routine, make sure you to vacuum AROUND the rug again, as the dirt that comes off the rug seems to fly off and end up behind or beside the rug. So, to recap, vacuum the rug, THEN the area around the rug. Saves time, if you feel you've had to vacuum twice in the past. Just something that I noted, one homemaker to another.

What makes a house a home? Cleanliness! I was very disappointed in myself for not keeping on top of it during this whole pandemic. What else did I have to do? I could have lost 30 lbs by now! But, I suppose the motivation wasn't there. Mental health playing a part as well. Who wants to clean when there is a pandemic that could kill us any day?!

Random nothingness to leave you with (for real this time). Words to remeber from 2020:

Pandemic - most popular word in 2020

Front-line Worker

Lockdown

Herd Immunity

Anti-masker - disparaging term for a person who opposes wearing a face mask during the COVID-19 pandemic. Public health experts strongly recommend wearing masks to prevent and slow the spread of the disease.

Vaccinator - a medical practitioner who inoculates people against diseases

I am going to use this word for people who have been vaccinated! Sounds like the Terminator, right?

Anti-vacciner - a person who refuses to get the vaccine

Whatevs, simples, chillax, sumfin and Jafaican have all been added to the Oxford Dictionary for 2020. Good to know that people are still making up words that have nothing to do with what is going on with the world right now. Whatevs...